Top 10 Stupid Inventions
1 Fork Chops
Here is a total dimwit idea but listen up anyhow. If you’ve ever wanted to completely class DOWN your sushi meal, opt for to use a fork chop. This way if your chopsticks are too much to handle, you can turn them around, make use of a fork and have soy sauce or other condiments dripping down your hands.
Really? I mean come on…
2 Solar Hat
Try wearing this solar hat and not get your ass kicked. Nerd much?
3 Bacon Floss
Nothing says fresh breath like dead pig.
Why do you need this product… cause MERICA….
4 Face and But towel
Or you could just dry your face first then your ass…
5 Dashboard Pole Dancer
Guaranteed to make your car insurance go up.
If you want to really add character to your shag wagon … err, car … mount this blond cutie to the dashboard. The looks you’ll get will definitely be priceless. Also… makes a great gift for the porn addict … nothing says I care about you like a 2 dollar stripper toy.
6 Bacon Soap
The question is can you buy it with your EBT Card?
Get squeaky – and greasy – clean with bacon soap. It looks like bacon, it smells like bacon and it’s disgusting. Makes a great Christmas stocking stuffer for a homeless person…
7 Pizza Fork
For the times you absolutely positively want an ER visit.
Also makes a great gift for the ultimate lazy person in your life…
8 Bacon Scented Cologne
When Cupid fixes you up with your soul mate. Nothing says Suuuuuuuuueeeewwwweeeeeee like bacon cologne.
Here’s one scent that’s sure to make you sizzle. A Chicago-based cologne company, Fargginay Inc., has released Bacon (pronounced bay-cone), the world’s first cologne/perfume that smells like – you guessed it – bacon.
Just a spray a little on at the end of the night when they close the bar and the fat drunk girl will be good to go.
9 The Toilet Mug
Brought to you by people who stopped taking their Prozac.
10 Beer Pager
For the intelligent drunk.Ever enjoy a nice backyard BBQ and think to yourself, where did I put my beer? This solves all your problems. You can hook your beer up to this paging device, set it down, and then spend the rest of the afternoon in search of the teeny remote to make the entire contraption work. Genius!And by Genius they mean an IQ of about 70.
SUNDAY 3/25/2017 By C Powers