Club Giggle Brings You Walmart Dating
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Hey, there all you single people and welcome to another round of Club Giggle’s Walmart Dating.
Guys meet Hannah. As you can see Hannah is a huge SpongeBob Squarepants Fan. Judging by the look on SpongeBob’s Face he has seen some shit that can’t be forgotten. Hannah is looking for a guy that likes line dancing and competitive hog calling as both are her favorite hobbies. When she isn’t working for the railroad as a flagger she can be found at Walmart looking for a good sale. If you see her feel free to start up a conversation and make sure to ask her about the balm her gramma makes for people’s no zone warts. Her favorite food is a tuna and ketchup sandwich on pumpernickel bread.
2 – Clyde
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Club Giggle brings you one of our Walmart dating members who truly represents her peers. We introduce you to Clyde, a former Klanswomen who was kicked out of the organization after she had a cross fall on her head and she started wearing glitter and demanded to be called Cinnamon while she tried to give lap dances. Clyde makes her living now working for the local Republican Party Headquarters as a consultant. Her hobbies include barbecuing and shooting woodchucks out in the field behind his barn. Her favorite food is grasshopper soup and baked pigeon stuffed with yam.
3 – Betty Joe
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Say hi to Betty Joe and her bubbly personality guys. Her momma named her after her granny but Betty prefers if everyone just calls her BJ. When she isn’t working down at the local gentleman’s club as an exotic dancer she spends her time meditating and going to psychotherapy for her multiple personalities disorder. One of the perks of taking BJ on a date is if the date isn’t going well wait 10 minutes and another personality shows up who you might get along with better.
She says her favorite food is a garden salad but she doesn’t get it much because with her other 21 personalities speaking up they tend to order the most expensive item on the menu.
4 – Henry Herbert
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Here we see Henry Herbert. Rumor has it Henry did massive amounts of drugs in the 60’s but we don’t believe it. Just because a man wears ballerina shoes and a sundress does not mean he did a ton of drugs. He could have had a massive head injury… or a stroke… possibly he was abducted by a cult and brainwashed into thinking that is a perfectly solid outfit for a man his age. Regardless of his wardrobe Henry is still one of the most available bachelors to be a member of our Walmart dating services. Henry works as an undertaker Monday thru Friday and has every weekend off. His hobbies are painting his nails and hunting for bear with a bow and arrow. His favorite food is wild turkey … the whiskey, not the bird… and meatloaf made out of possum .
5 – Tiffany
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Guys if you are looking for a wild woman Tiffany is the girl for you. She is a nudist who goes to Walmart on weekends to protest the use of clothes in our society and spread the word that nudist are not always going to be a minority and when they come to power there will be a purge of clothing like no one has ever seen before. Her hobbies are abstract art which she has demanded we show and watching The Price Is Right. Her Favorite food is anything that comes in a Nude Food Container. And yes, that is a real thing.
Written by J>Wales 5/29/17
Don’t forget to check out all our top list from the Club Giggle Brings You Walmart Dating series