Deep Thoughts For The Day By One Cranky Old.Man2

Today’s deep thought is the age old question…”Why Me?’  Yup… I’m sure you have all asked yourself the same question. I was sitting around and thinking about my cousin today . She had passed away and younger brother was a priest and asked me to be a pallbearer. Of course I said yes but no sooner did I say it then he said that I was not Catholic and wasn’t supposed to be part of the ceremony in a Catholic church. He said because I was family he could get away with it. One thing though.. do NOT make any mistakes or draw attention to myself as there would be 40 high ranking priest on the altar  to support him. I said what could go wrong and it will be fine. So the day of the funeral we take the casket and put it in the hearse and take it to the church. No problem… until we get to the stairs at the front of the church which were steep and a lot of them. One thing I should have mentioned was that my cousin was a big girl. So going up the steps was a challenge.  About half way up I thought this isn’t so bad but then look over at the other guys carrying the other side and see her other brother struggling . Two of the guys were more towards one side of the casket so he had all the weight at the low end of it . By the time we got to the last step his face was bright red and he was shaking like an Olympic weight lifter. Now I know what you were all thinking…  it was that we were going to drop that casket. That would have been bad but not nearly as bad as what was to come shortly after. By bad I mean bad for me.

So the funeral service gos on and then it is time to take her back to the hearse. We Pick her up and start to carry her out the church doorway when one of the guys on the other side rocked the casket towards me because the door was narrow and we were all trying to fit thru it. As that happened I had taken a step and my pants had caught on the door hinge and ripped.  They ripped so much that any farther and they would have been torn off me.   I stopped dead in my tracks. (no pun intended)  Problem was the other 5 guys keep trying to go forward.  There we are .. having a tug o war with my poor dead cousin.Shes in the church . shes out .. shes in. shes out.. shes in…. At that time though all i could think of was there is 500 people  up in this mother and I’m not going to have pants on in a second.   i had a massive panic attack  which fortunately gave me superhuman strength and I was able to not move another inch until the guy behind me said stop…. he is caught on the door.. everyone take one step back.  When they did my pants almost fell off. I had to hold them up with one hand while carrying with the other.

We get her down and in the hearse and then stand in line near it while everyone files out. Sure enough.. here comes my cousin the priest.  I didn’t know priest could give such a wicked stink eye to people but apparently they can because he gave me one that i remember to this day .

Which brings me back to the whole “Why Me?” Question.  To this day I do not have an answer for it . So I guess I will have to just sit here and keep thinking about it.

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