Everything In Australia Wants To Kill You

Thursday   4/6/2017


 

Australia is one of the scariest countries in the world, so beware if you go to that country because just about everything there wants to kill you .


Spiders


There are around 520 types of spiders wriggling around Australia, a large portion of which are venomous and won’t hesitate  to bite you  in the event that you infringe their turf or call their mothers fat. Just keep your distance from the  Red Back, Wolf creepy crawly, black house arachnid and the most dangerous one, the  Funnel Web Spider aka the Widowmaker.


Kangaroos



Kangaroos are marsupials. They can reach to speeds up to 44 KPH or 27.3 MPH. They spend most of their time in groups also called mobs. Kangaroos might look cuddly and cute but most of the time you see them stomping on cars or harassing the tourists.


Crocodiles

This unholy reptile normally wreaks ruin in the ocean and will eat essentially anything, even other predators. They can reach up to 20ft long. This savage reptile  eats sharks, bears, tigers, and sometimes humans. The crocs flourish in the Northern Territory  and have no other species that preys on them


Cassowary


This ridiculous looking Darwin-defier is a  flightless fledgling bird that can grow to 6ft tall, can run at speed of up to 31mph, and is an incredible swimmer. You’ll never be able to escape the cassowary. They are the living descendants of the raptors. They have  killed humans. Turkeys are such wusses compared to their Aussie cousins.


Snakes


Australia is home to an estimated 100 venomous snakes and as a matter of fact Australia is the only place on Earth where there are more venomous snake species than non-venomous.

Australia also is home to the three most venomous snakes on the planet, these are:

  • Coastal Taipan(Most venomous snake)
  • King Brown
  • Tiger Snake

Yes, Australia is home to the snake with the most potent venom on the planet. Just a drop of venom from this creature is enough to kill 20 people. They don’t have anti venom for all species so be careful if you sneak behind a tree to take a leak. Try explaining that at the gates of heaven.

Bonus


Drop bears


Okay. This is a picture of a koala or is it?! “Drop bears” closely resemble koalas to fool you into liking them, but have zero qualms about dropping from treetops to attack. They re about the size of a dog. This not factually corrects everyone. Drop bears will not attack if you eat lots of vegemite. Why do you think us Aussies actually eat the stuff. We just tell you we like the taste of it. There are measures taken by Australian government to keep tourist safe.

By A Malik 4/6/17

 

 

 

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